If you don’t know of me–Jeff Mach, sometimes called, by one particularly angry ex, “The Great East Coast Abuser”–I’ll say that I absolutely have self-interest here; I have skin in this game. (And I strongly, strongly distrust those who get into a situation which might influence others when they, themselves, have nothing to gain or lose. Having something at stake makes you biased, of course; but having nothing at stake makes you able to say whatever feels or looks good to you, rather than what’s needful or helpful–because the outcomes won’t affect you.)
I’m in the situation of many people who’ve been accused of serious consent violation: at the time of this writing, the community doesn’t have a path towards “redemption”. And after a long time in that space, I’ve decided: if I want to see change, I have to make that change. And I’ll be blunt: change probably has to come from someone who isn’t afraid of being attacked by mobs.
I’m not characterizing everyone who disagrees with me as being a mob; quite the contrary, I welcome discussion of disagreement. But people aren’t silenced because they’re concerned others will have differing opinions; they’re silenced because they have good reason to fear annihilation. They’ve seen what happens when one person is the apex of a community’s rage. Nobody wants to be that one person.)
I’ve been that person. And I am no longer afraid, and I won’t be silenced again.
The kink community has many people who are trying damn hard to make it the best possible place.
It also has elements of witch-hunting which try to force specific views on everyone, and implicitly or explicitly threaten shunning, callouts, and eventually mobbing on some of those who don’t give them what they want.
I’m calling out that behavior, and I’m going to fight against it.
Come join me. I don’t claim to be perfect; but I’m a damn good ally, and I’m specific: I don’t want to run the kink community, I just want the kink community to STOP being fueled by fear of mobs.